


Needed Me

by amusawale



Series: Appointment in Edom [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aftermath, Coda, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 11:38:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16449230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amusawale/pseuds/amusawale
Summary: Alec pays Magnus a visit after he gets well.





	Needed Me

Magnus was fiddling with his phone, wondering if he should try to call Alexander when there was a knock on his door.

He frowned.

He’d specifically cancelled any pending appointments he’d had prior to his trip to Edom and he certainly hadn’t made any new ones in the three days since he’d been back. Catarina didn’t knock and Lucian called before he came.

So who could this be?

He sighed, walking slowly toward the door, not really in the mood to socialize.

“Alexander!” he exclaimed in shock as he opened the door seeing the tall pale faced shadowhunter leaning against the jamb, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I came to see you,” Alexander said, his voice low and weak.

In spite of sharing the blood letting with Izzy, he’d been in critical condition by the time they got him to the medical bay at the Institute. He’d needed blood; not just shadowhunter blood but one from whom he shared DNA. His father was in Los Angeles and could not be reached in time. That left only his mother who was healthy and available. It was tricky since both Izzy and Alec had needed her blood. They tried to use plasma and platelet substitutes as much as possible but at the end of the day, the only thing that would have saved their lives was slow intravenous infusion of the real thing. It had been touch and go for a night and a day but once they were stabilized, Magnus had left.

He could not bear the guilt of what he had caused. All he had wanted to do was go home and drown his sorrows in whisky. Once he was gone, it had been difficult to return.  He could not watch as Alec and Izzy fought for their lives, knowing he was the cause of their suffering and be able to do nothing. He felt the condemning gazes of every shadowhunter at the Institute like a cat o nine tail to his back. The worried looks on Jace and Clary’s faces felt like summary judgment condemning him to an eternity of culpability. His father might have done the spell but Alexander had come for _him_. Because he’d been too weak to resist his father’s demands. Because he’d underestimated how far Alexander might go for him. Because he was a fool.

And now Alexander was at his door, barely able to stand, because he was a coward who ran away when he was needed.

He reached out, snaking an arm around Alexander’s waist.

“Come in and sit down before you fall down. Does anyone even know where you are?”

Alexander gave him a look, “I’m a grown man Magnus,” he said.

“Yes, you are. I just meant…”

“Why did you leave me?”

Magnus took a deep breath, struck once again by Alexander’s blunt honesty.

“I’m sorry Alexander. I just wanted to give you time to heal. To get better.”

“I needed you.”  
Magnus felt his heart break in two and he shook his head, “Oh no Alexander. You needed medical care, and shadowhunter blood; none of which I was able to give you.”

Alec stopped moving and turned to Magnus, “You don’t understand. I needed _you_.”

Magnus simply looked helplessly back at him unable to find words.

“I’m sorry if anything I said ever gave you the impression that you are only useful to me for what you can do. You are essential to me, Magnus. I need you. I need to feel you close to me. I miss you when you’re gone. I think about you all the time. I opened my eyes and I looked for you and you weren’t there. I needed you.”

“I am sorry, Alexander,” Magnus said swallowing hard. His eyes darting from place to place in confusion, “I let my guilt get the better of me I guess. I was angry at myself for letting this happen to you, and I thought you would be angry at me too. I should have known that my little ego wasn’t the important thing. You are. You always are, Alexander. Never doubt that. Now come, sit down. You’re still weak. You shouldn’t be out of bed.”

“I want to stay here,” Alec declared.

“Alright, we can do that. I can look after you. Let me put you to bed.”  
“In our bed?”

“Of course Alexander.”

Magnus led him slowly to their bedroom, realizing in that moment that he _did_ think of it as theirs and not his anymore. He wondered for a moment why he’d even turned the idea down when Alexander had asked to move in. He studied the shadowhunter as he lay him down carefully in bed, taking his shoes off, his sweater and his pants and covering him with the duvet.

“There you go. Now can I bring you anything? Orange juice? Tomato?”

Alexander held out his hand, “Just you Magnus. Just you.”


End file.
